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That’s Totally Not How Tom Hanks Dies
So there’s this movie called “Incredibly loud and extremely close.” The trailers are playing on TV right now and they’re bumming out my wife something fierce. She couldn’t believe that they would make...
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Three One-Take Fight Scenes That Make “Film Editing” Seem Stupid
Ong Bak “Yeah, that’s kind of corny—wait, what? Holy shit.” —you, watching this video. Old Boy After a minute of scene-setting, it’s one man with a hammer. Children of Men There’s so fucking much to...
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Help Me Tweet Die Hard
Guys, seriously. We need to talk about Die Hard. We need to focus on the lines of dialogue that seem oddly poetic when taken out of context. We need to address how little sense the bad guys’ plan...
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Help Me Tweet Die Hard: Die Harder
The Die Hard experiment was a success. It was such a success that I’m going to start a club. We’re going to be called the John McClane-iacs. Or maybe the Die Hard-kateers. I thought about calling...
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I Don’t Understand the Question and I Won’t Respond to it
Play Misty for Me is streaming on Netflix. I’ve been curious about watching it again for a while, as it stars a young Jessica Walter—Lucille Bluth of Arrested Development. Walter, quirky cute in her...
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A Quick Note to Wes Anderson, a Great Filmmaker with a Spotty Track Record...
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) (Photo credit: Bvu) Hey Bro. I am fresh off Moonrise Kingdom and want to shoot a warning shot across your bow. The film was a trifle but it had its moments. I am sure the...
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Fucking Pacino
A couple months ago, I watched Heat and decided Al Pacino is the worst actor in the world. Today, I saw Dog Day Afternoon for the first time. Pacino is so heartbreakingly great in a movie that has him...
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Does Guns ‘n’ Roses Exist in the Marvel Universe?
Captain America: Winter Soldier was a good movie but I wonder if it’s really a court jester with a broken heart. There’s a cute scene early in the story where Captain America take out a list of pop...
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Jurassic Park, My Least Favorite Movie: An Introduction
Jurassic Park is not the worst movie ever made, but it’s the one I hate the most. There’s no escaping Jurassic Park. It’s constantly on television and film writers treat it like a masterpiece. When...
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Everything That Works in Other Spielberg Films Fails
Jurassic Park isn’t Spielberg’s worst movie, but it’s the worst Spielberg movie. Spielberg assembled it from approaches that worked in his previous movies but fail here. Filmmakers and critics say Jaws...
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Fixing Comic Book Movies: Thor
There have been some pretty good comic book movies, but no perfect ones. In this series I’m putting superhero movies under the microscope and seeing what went wrong, what went right and what could have...
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Batman V Superman V Mr. Bulger
I got to write about the least loved movie of the year, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, for Van Winkle’s. Turned out pretty well. My article, that is. The movie was garbage.
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Mr. Bulger Meets Mr. Krueger
This isn’t a new story, but I just realized I’ve never linked to it despite how much I like it. It’s a deep dive into the true story behind the ’80s horror classic A Nightmare on Elm Street. Enjoy.
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Mr. Bulger Cuts for the Dream
I talked film editing with master Hollywood scene cutter Norman Hollyn for Van Winkle’s. We talked at length about the opening scene of Fellini’s 8 1/2 and the ’80s high school dark comedy Heathers,...
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Fixing Comic Book Movies: Thor
There have been some pretty good comic book movies, but no perfect ones. In this series I’m putting superhero movies under the microscope and seeing what went wrong, what went right and what could have...
View ArticleThree One-Take Fight Scenes That Make “Film Editing” Seem Stupid
Ong Bak “Yeah, that’s kind of corny—wait, what? Holy shit.” —you, watching this video. Old Boy After a minute of scene-setting, it’s one man with a hammer. Children of Men There’s so fucking much to...
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Wherefore Art Thou, Ray Milland?
Image via Wikipedia Just finished watching Dial M for Murder. Terrific picture. It’s been such a long time since I watched a good, chatty little classic movie that I forgot how much fun it is. Made me...
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Dial R for Remake
So I had some thoughts on remaking “Dial M for Murder.” Ten of them, in fact. Check them out! 10. The film’s origins on the stage are obvious, which limits the movie unnecessarily. The movie takes...
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Please Help Me Finish this Half-Baked, Pretentious Essay About the Left Wing...
This is what it looks like when I fail. I’m a professional writer, which means that I write well enough that people pay me to write. But sometimes I suck at my job. I’ll get half an idea and start...
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Fixing Comic Book Movies Part One: Green Lantern
There have been some pretty good comic book movies, but no perfect ones. In this series I’m putting superhero movies under the microscope and seeing what went wrong, what went right and what could have...
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